My latest book, Milspouse Matters: Sharing Strength Through Our Stories, includes many experiences from our thirty years as a military family. A few stories didn’t make the cut for final publication, like this one, but I thought it would be fun to share it here!
Seated with other service members and their spouses at a dinner on Ramstein Air Base, Germany, with a visiting celebrity who was making the rounds of overseas bases on a USO tour, my husband Steve and I did our best to make small talk with him over steaming plates of crispy schnitzel and tender spaetzle.
“So, what have you been doing lately?” Steve asked the celeb who we’ll leave unnamed, in an attempt to make conversation. Steve meant what have you been doing lately in terms of interests, not work, but the man bristled.
“Well, as you may know, I’m the star of the hit series….” he answered in an offended tone, and went on to name a popular TV show that we already knew about. And were well aware that he was on. He then proceeded without pausing to regale us with the oh so important, very impressive things he was doing.
Steve said, “Uh huh,” and forked another bite of schnitzel into his mouth.
We glanced at each other with an all righty then moment, the kind you have when you realize the other person is not truly interested in having a conversation.
The awkward evening wore on as the celebrity dominated any attempts at small talk, didn’t ask questions of anyone else at the table, practically giving his resume’, while I fumed and thought, do you even know who’s sitting here with you?
He was surrounded by military heroes, men and women who’d given up years and their mental and physical health to serve our country, but he was too obtuse to realize it. He should be asking them about their experiences, I stewed. What an idiot. The military members reacted patiently, like you do with a small child who doesn’t understand yet the social niceties of conversing.
Finally, at evening’s end, he stood up, took a Barney Fife-like self-important sniff and asked Steve,
“So… would you like a picture with me?”
Steve waved him off.
“Nah, I’m good.”
Turning to hide my chuckle, I thought, That’s my guy. Surprised at not being fawned over like he’d come to expect, the man left. Thankfully.
Military Members and Celebrity Sightings
When you’re a military member, especially if you’re stationed or deployed overseas, organizations like the USO or the base’s MWR will often bring in celebrities and music artists to visit the troops and families to boost morale and provide visibility. Over the years of my husband’s long Air Force career, he met many such people, along with foreign dignitaries, members of Congress, and presidents both past and present. Some of them were completely amazing. As a family, we encountered other stars and actors, and let’s just say the experiences have been varied.
In Hawaii, as the movie Aloha was being shot, much of it was filmed on Hickam Air Force Base where we lived at the time. Our teen girls would drive down the street to where some of the filming was taking place, in hopes of catching a glimpse of stars like Emma Stone, Bradley Cooper, Alec Baldwin, and John Krasinski. Their patience paid off, and they stood behind a cordoned-off area with other fans and waved frantically as the actors passed in the distance. Steve met several of the actors who were filming around his workplace. Emma Stone and Bill Murray officiated the base’s Christmas tree lighting that year and were appreciative and gracious to the military members and their families. I realize that they took time away from their own lives and families during the holiday season, and for that I am grateful.
Meeting Chris Hemsworth as Part of the 12 Strong Press Junket
But one of my most up close and personal celebrity experiences was that one time I met Chris Hemsworth. I was invited at the last minute to be part of a press junket to screen the movie 12 Strong, based on the novel Horse Soldiers by Doug Stanton, the now declassified story that recounts the mission of the Special Forces unit who were the first U.S. troops on the ground in Afghanistan after 9/11. So after a quick shopping run for some updated business attire and arranging flights, I quite suddenly found myself in LA, feeling a bit out of place, just an ordinary military wife from Texas who also happened to be a writer.
I’d been working as a freelance writer for Military Spouse Magazine for some years and was asked to represent them at the movie screening and cast interviews. Since most books, movies, and TV shows that address the post 9/11 era tend to have a political leaning, I was a little wary before watching the movie. But the measure of respect and recognition given to the U.S. military pleasantly surprised and heartened me.
After the movie screening, I was part of a group of bloggers and writers, mostly military affiliated, who were invited to be part of a roundtable discussion with the movie’s star Chris Hemsworth. We were given the chance to ask him questions about the movie and his motivation behind tackling a different role than others he’d played before, and then we’d each go back with all the info and report or write articles for our various outlets. Unless you’re completely divorced from pop culture, you likely know that Chris Hemsworth is internationally known for his acting roles, but I mostly knew him as Marvel’s “Thor.” In fact, when I came back home after the trip, I was treated to a level of awe and respect from my teen daughters that I’m not sure I’ve experienced before… or since.
Since I’m old enough to be Chris Hemsworth’s mom, um, I mean cool aunt, I watched the reaction of some of the younger bloggers with a bit of bemusement. I thought one gal in particular might actually vomit as we waited for him to enter the conference room where we’d been directed by the PR staff. When Chris arrived, he was kind and personable, put us all at our ease, and sat down with us to answer questsions. We were each given the opportunity to ask one question. Mine was wanting to know if he’d any previous experience with the military himself or other family members. But one moment that stands out to me was his reaction to a question from one non-military blogger. A question that made a few of us exchange glances which meant, Is she for real?
“How, just how did you find the courage to do this?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” he answered.
“To shoot all those war scenes… how did you find the strength?” she replied.
He was kind but didn’t miss a beat.
“You mean the part where we weren’t actually in danger? Those guys,” he waved a hand at the poster depicting the book and movie, “Those are the real heroes.”
My respect for him only grew when one press member commented that war movies haven’t always shone a positive light on the military. He shared his initial response to the story of the real-life Horse Soldiers (and if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, I highly recommend it!):
“My first instinct was that I just couldn’t believe it was a true story. I knew about this conflict and this war, like a lot of people, but not about this mission. And I was sort of engrossed and shocked and fascinated by the details. Then, speaking with the real guys through the process…there’s such an honesty and openness and a lack of sort of dramatization or ego as they retell or recount these events. And such a humility, you know? They’re the real heroes, and to put themselves in these positions and in harm’s way, with their safety in jeopardy, but for the rest of our safety, is something beyond admirable…. But I definitely felt the weight, that responsibility. I think we all did.” *
He also expressed his admiration and newfound understanding for what military families go through on a regular basis,
“You know, I live in Australia, and I left four days ago for this press tour. And my daughter said, ‘But you just got back from work. Why are you going again?’ And I was thinking about it, and it brings me to tears doing that, right? To be walking out the door going to war, what you guys deal with, I mean, I cannot imagine. And again, it takes a certain person to be able to do that. And I don’t think I have that strength.”*
After our group’s roundtable interview, Chris kindly offered to take a selfie with each of us writers there. Being the cool aunt that I am, I of course obliged. I mean, he did ask. The whole press junket and trip seemed a bit surreal when I returned home, but I do have a selfie with Chris Hemsworth to prove it happened. After I checked out of the fancy-schmancy LA hotel the PR company put us up in and chauffeured back to the airport in a luxury sedan, I landed back at home in Texas to be picked up in Steve’s truck and returned to my piles of overdue writing and laundry and normal life. And to one teenaged daughter dramatically grabbing for my phone and wailing, “Is this the phone Chris touched when he took a selfie? Can I hold it??” If it had been 100 years ago, you could have termed her state as having the vapors. She was positively swooning.
The Real Heroes in My Life
But Chris Hemsworth’s words about service members’ typical humility and lack of ego reminded me of what I already knew: military families are surrounded by heroes every day. My children have commented how much they enjoy being in the background when my husband’s military buddies visit, as they swap stories, good-natured insults, and banter. They won’t boast about any aspect of their service. In fact they’ll often downplay their roles, but they will joke about their outrageous, nearly unbelievable stories with each other.
Chris Hemsworth’s words about service members’ typical humility and lack of ego reminded me of what I already knew: military families are surrounded by heroes every day.
Look around the room when they’re gathered and you’ll see a winner of a Purple Heart, Bronze Star, or a Legion of Merit here or there, one who ejected as his plane went down, and another who parachuted in behind enemy lines as part of his regular day job. They’ve got top secret clearances and have that “if I told you, I’d have to kill you” attitude about their work. They’re the folks who were first on the ground or flew missions in Iraq, Afghanistan, and even back in the Gulf War.
They’ve survived conflicts in which they lost friends. They’ve served “in the sandbox” (Middle East) for months and years away from their families. They’re the ones who stepped up even when they were tired or wished it was someone else’s turn. They’ve stopped counting how many holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays they’ve missed or the times they couldn’t be there for their children’s soccer games, dance recitals, and school awards ceremonies. And they’re not easily impressed. They’re hardened, hilarious with that twisted sort of humor survivors have, and deep inside those crusty interiors, kind. They would quite literally drop everything and do anything for the ones they love. But brag about themselves? Now that’s something you won’t hear them do.
So if you ask me who’s the favorite celebrity I’ve ever met? It’s them. Especially the one I live with every single day, my husband.
Sorry, even Thor can’t hold a candle to my resident hero.
